Battle of the characters!
by Amiboshi-chan
Summary: We take Yuu watase two best works, Ayashi no Ceres and Fushigi Yugi, and have the characters try to convince YOU they are better!
1. Best main character

Welcome to anime smackdown! Here, we take Yuu Watase's two best animes- Fushigi Yugi and Ayashi no Ceres- and compare the characters! Who will win?  
  
Battle number one: The main character  
  
Aya vs. Miaka  
  
Aya: So, what's this new game show we've got here?  
  
Hikari: Anime Smackdown. We're putting you against Yuuki Miaka, and you try to convince us you're the better main character! I'm your host, Hikari- Boorei!  
  
Aya. Oh, this will be easy!  
  
Hikari: So, Miaka, what do you think are your chances here?  
  
Miaka: Gobble gobble snarf gobble. . .  
  
Hikari: Okeeeeyy, looks like Miaka is getting herself geared up for the battle. . .I guess.  
  
Aya: I'll win this just because I can eat like a human.  
  
Miaka: Okay! Let's go!  
  
Hikari: You finished all that already?  
  
Aya ^shakes head^  
  
Miaka: What?  
  
Hikari: Okay, let's get to it. Question one will go to Aya first. It seems like every anime Heroine has to be nearly raped at least once in the series. How many times have you been nearly raped?  
  
Aya: Oh, plenty of times. First Kagami tried to rape me in order to awaken Ceres, then Aki almost raped me, thinking I was Ceres- of course, he was possessed by Mikage at that time, so that one almost counts as two. . . and that encounter with Yuuhi wasn't exactly an attempted rape, but it might count. . .  
  
Hikari: Okay, what about you, Miaka?  
  
Miaka: I've been almost raped five times- first by Eiken, the awful ugly bandit, then by Tomo, Nakago and Suboshi, trying to stop me from summoning Suzaku, then by Tasuki, my own seishi!  
  
Hikari: Hmmm. The fact that poor Aya was almost raped by her cousin and her possessed brother definitely adds something to her story, but five times compared to two, I'm sorry, Aya, this one has to go to Miaka.  
  
Miaka: Yippee!  
  
Aya: Bah.  
  
Hikari: Okay, next question. Miaka, this is your question. What spiffy heroine powers do you have?  
  
Miaka: Let's see, I can yell really loud, get myself into lots of trouble, somehow narrowly escape death, consume more food than all the other characters combined, get sucked into books and summon spiffy gods!  
  
Aya: Well, I can transform into Ceres, and. . .well, that's about it.  
  
Hikari: Well, the whole Ceres thing definitely overshadows Miaka's first four abilities, but the whole climbing into books and summoning gods thing is pretty cool. Miaka gets this one.  
  
Aya: Harumph.  
  
Hikari: Aya's next question: How's your singing!  
  
Aya: Oh, I love singing! I actually sing the theme song, "Scarlet". I'm pretty good too! I want to be an idol when I'm older!  
  
Miaka: I. . .sound like a four year old when I sing.  
  
Hikari: Well, this one's pretty straightforward. Aya is obviously the better singer. Aya's first win!  
  
Aya: about time.  
  
Miaka: I can't help it I haven't gone through puberty yet!  
  
Hikari: 'Ahem' okay, let's move on. Miaka, how many anime guys to you have chasing you?  
  
Miaka: Lots! Tamahome, Hotohori, Nuriko, Tasuki, and Amiboshi -sort of.  
  
Aya: Tooya, Yuuhi, and Mikage.  
  
This is a close call, but I will have to say Miaka. . . Last question. Aya, how many times have you ran around in states of undress?  
  
Aya: well, both times when Kagami and then Mikage ripped my shirt open, then when my robe came open while I was chasing Aki and Tooya. Oh, and whenever they show me floating around in nothingness when Ceres is awake, I'm completely naked.  
  
Miaka: Well, I basically run around half of the second season in my underwear!  
  
Hikari: Another point for Miaka! Aya, you have one more chance. What do you have to say in your defense that might sway the vote?  
  
Aya: ah. . .A little help here, Ceres!  
  
Ceres. Sure thing, Aya ^becomes Ceres, and tennyo blasts Miaka across the room.^  
  
Aya: well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but I guess it works.  
  
Hikari: ^sweatdrop^ well, Miaka would win if she was still conscious. . .^receives glare from Ceres^ But it looks like Aya wins!  
  
Ceres: I thought so.  
  
Hikari: Don't hurt me.  
  
Battle number two- The ultimate Bad Guy! For this one, we'll be comparing Nakago and Mikage! If you want to sway the vote, review and tell me who you think should win!!!  
  
Authoress' note: You might think this is pretty stupid. Newsbreak! It's supposed to be! Flame me if you will. It will not effect me in the least! However, I would much rather see nice happy reviews, so let's have a little respect for our fellow writers, eh?  
  
Amiboshi-chan 


	2. Ultimate bad guy

Welcome to Anime Smackdown! Last episode, we watched Aya make a surprising victory as the best main character! This time, we will watch the Ancestor Mikage and Nakago duke it out for the title of ultimate bad guy!!! Once again, this is your host, Hikari- Boorei!  
  
Battle two: ultimate bad guy  
  
Hikari: Welcome, contestants!  
  
Nakago: Hmph.  
  
Mikage: Ore no. . .onna ^twitch^  
  
Hikari: Okay. Nakago, you're going to start us out. What are your best abilities as a bad guy?  
  
Nakago: I can manipulate people at my will, I'm startlingly sexy, and I can shoot awesome chi blasts.  
  
Hikari: Impressive. What about you, Mikage?  
  
Mikage: I have tennyo powers that my girlfriend gave me, even though she's still more powerful than me, they're still pretty spiffy.  
  
Hikari: it's obvious who wears the pants in that relationship. Point goes to Nakago! Next question. Mikage, what part of your appearance makes you look like a bad guy?  
  
Mikage: Umm, all my long scars that my woman inflicted on me a thousand years ago.  
  
Nakago: I have really cold eyes and the patented Scheming Shogun Smirk.  
  
Hikari: Hmmm, scars, smirk. . .scars, smirk. . .how about a tie breaker, guys? Got anything else for me?  
  
Nakago: I have spiky shoulder pads.  
  
Hikari: A must for every bad guy! Another one for Nakago, and a question. How many people have you possessed or corrupted?  
  
Nakago: Yui, Soi, Tomo, Ashitare. . .need I go on?  
  
Hikari: Probably not. Mikage?  
  
Mikage: Aki. . .that's about it. I would have corrupted more, but Kagami beat me to it.  
  
Hikari. Point for Nakago. Buck up, Old fart! You're falling behind! Moving on. Mikage, what's your worst personality quirks?  
  
Mikage: I'm possessive, arrogant, and really really violent.  
  
Hikari: A decent answer this time! Nakago?  
  
Nakago: I have a personality? Wow, I hide it well.  
  
Hikari: Another answer shot down by Nakago! Point to blondie!  
  
Nakago: Hikari? We're both blonde.  
  
Hikari: Ahem. I knew that. Nakago gets the point. Nakago, do you have more fangirls than the hero of your anime?  
  
Nakago: I should.  
  
Mikage: Well, no. . .but that's not fair! Everyone loves Tooya!  
  
Hikari: Not really. . .  
  
Mikage: Even Aki has more fangirls than me!  
  
Hikari: true. At least Nakago is somewhat loved. Mikage, last question goes to you. What are your reasons for being a bad guy?  
  
Mikage: Well, I really just wanted to be with Ceres, and I didn't want her to cheat on me, and I love her!!! ^breaks down crying^  
  
Hikari: Okeeeeyyy. Nakago? Got an answer for us?  
  
Nakago: I want to take over the world.  
  
Hikari: Even if Nakago hadn't wiped out the competition, the fact that Mikage was really just a paranoid lovesick whiner would have guaranteed Nakago a win. Maybe we should have started with that question and got it over with at the start. Nakago wins the ultimate bad guy!  
  
Tune in next time for battle three: Coolest hero. Tamahome and Ceres will try to be the best good guy or girl! Vote for your favorite if you want to see them win!!!  
  
By Amiboshi-chan and viewers like you. 


	3. Coolest hero

Welcome to another episode of Anime Smackdown! Today we will be Tamahome and Ceres will be battling for the title of coolest hero! I'm your host, Hikari-Boorei!!  
  
Hikari: Come on in, guys!  
  
Tamahome: How much am I getting paid for this?  
  
Hikari: Well, I COULD call Kawaii Sama to come beat you to a pulp!  
  
Tamahome: Oh, nevermind.  
  
Ceres: Stupid humans.  
  
Hikari: Okay, let's get started. Ceres, you've got the first question. Every hero has to have a reletionship with the main character. What's your relationship to Aya?  
  
Ceres: . . .We're the same person, moron.  
  
Hikari: Okay. . .Tamahome? What about you and Miaka?  
  
Tamahome: Miaka and I are in Love!  
  
Hikari: Well, I generally don't go for the mushy stuff, but since Ceres insulted me ^sticks tongue out at Ceres^ Tamahome gets the point.  
  
Tamahome: How much money do I get for each point?  
  
Hikari: Kawaii!!!  
  
Tamahome: Eep! Sorry!  
  
Hikari: That's better. Now, Tamahome, how did you come to be the hero of Fushigi Yugi?  
  
Tamahome: I was born a Suzaku Seishi and destined to protect Miaka!  
  
Hikari: Okay, and Ceres?  
  
Ceres: That moron Mikage lost my robe so I died and had to go look for it.  
  
Hikari: Well, Being destined is definitely more pleasing than 'I died and this is what I got stuck with', so Tamahome wins the point!  
  
Ceres: I think you're biased.  
  
Hikari: No, actually I like you better. But the fans voted. . .  
  
Ceres: Yea, yea, sure. Excuses. Pathetic humans.  
  
Hikari: . . . moving on. Ceres what spiffy abilities do you have that make you a hero?  
  
Ceres: Um. . .I'm a Tennyo? I can fly, level any building in seconds, make anything explode by batting an eyelash . . .!  
  
Hikari: Okay, and Tamahome?  
  
Tamahome: I'm an awesome martial artist, and I can create chi blasts if you tick me off enough!!! I also have a strange way of being able to hear Miaka yell, no matter where she is. . .that's actually kind of annoying though.  
  
Hikari: We all can here Miaka yell. She's loud. We were even outside the book, miles away in America, and we could hear her hollering and wailing.  
  
Tamahome: Oh.  
  
Hikari: Well, Ceres won that one anyway. Sorry, Tama. You might have kickbutt moves, but Ceres can actually make the thing bleed. ^Waves at Jenn^  
  
Jenn: ^Runs away^  
  
Hikari: Anyhoo, Tamahome, all heros need to have something to protect. What do you have?  
  
Tamahome : I have to protect Miaka, and the safety of Konan!!  
  
Hikari: Okay, Ceres?  
  
Ceres: I'm not protecting anything, I just want my robe back, dammit! How would you like to be a naked tennyo???  
  
Hikari: You have a point. Watch the language, though. We have little readers out there.  
  
Kawaii: You're picking on me, aren't you??  
  
Hikari: Of course not!! ^angelface^  
  
Kawaii: Grrr. . .  
  
Hikari: Anyway, Even though I liked Ceres' response, I'll have to say Tamahome, but just for the ratings!!!  
  
Ceres: Hmph.  
  
Hikari: Anyway, your question Ceres. What are the two major characters you've killed?  
  
Ceres: My moron husband, Mikage, and Aya's twin brother Aki.  
  
Tamahome: I killed Suboshi . . .well, actually my little siblings killed him, but you know. . .  
  
Hikari: Sorta like saying Nakago killed Nuriko.  
  
Tamahome: Exactly. And that's the other one I killed, Nakago.  
  
Hikari: Hmmm, killing Mikage was good, but killing Aki. . .bad no no. Tamahome gets the point.  
  
Tamahome: I am going to win! In your face, Kawaii!  
  
Kawaii: I heard that!  
  
Tamahome: Eep!  
  
Ceres: Tamahome, she's half your size. Why are you so scared of her?  
  
Tamahome: ^shakes his head vigorously^ You don't know her! You don't understand. . . she's EEVVVIIIILLLLL!  
  
Kawaii: ^Smiles sweetly^ Who? Me?  
  
Hikari: You'll meet her sometime, Ceres. Anyway, I've ran out of questions, so Tamahome wins!  
  
Kawaii: Drat drat drat!!  
  
Hikari: Sorry, Kawaii. I wanted Ceres to win, too, but majority held the vote for Tamahome.  
  
Kawaii: It wasn't nessacarily Ceres winning, but I wanted Tamahome to lose!!!  
  
Hikari: Tune in next time for another exciting episode of Anime Smackdown!!! This time Yui and Kagami will be fighting for the name Instigator of Chaos!!! So tell us who you think should win and sway the vote!!!  
  
Written by Amiboshi-chan 


	4. Instigator of chaos

Welcome back to Anime Smackdown! Last episode, Tamahome beat Ceres for the coolest hero title. Today's title is Instigator of Chaos, and today's contestants are Yui and Kagami!!! I'm your host, Hikari- Boorei!  
  
Battle four: Instigator of Chaos  
  
Hikari: Welcome once again to our show! Yui, Kagami, please take a seat.  
  
Yui: Why am I here? This is really, really . . .  
  
Kagami: SAVE THE BUGGY! ^Picks a fruit fly off the table before he sets his coffee mug down ^ I have to make a better world for the buggies, too, as well as the Tennyo.  
  
Yui: . . .lame.  
  
Hikari: No, this show's not lame, just the contestants. ^wink wink^ Okay, maybe it is a little lame, but it's not like I have anything else to do. Anyway, let's get on with our first question. Yui, How much power do you, not counting who's backing you, have?  
  
Yui: I'm the Priestess of Seiryu! I can summon gods!  
  
Hikari: Good. And Kagami?  
  
Kagami: I'm the head of Mikage international. ^sips his coffee^  
  
Hikari: Point goes to Yui! Calling dragons is much more fun than paperwork. Kagami, here's your question. How many people do you have control of at your fingertips.  
  
Kagami: Everyone who works for Mikage International and has stock in Mikage International, a team of scientists lead by Alexander Howell, and a troop of creepy dudes dressed like CIA agents that are trained to guard and kill.  
  
Yui: Oh, just the entire Kutou army.  
  
Hikari: Yui would win that one but the truth is that Nakago has control of the entire Kutou army, not her, and therefore Kagami gets the point.  
  
Yui: Oh, mere technicalities.  
  
Kagami: ^sips coffee^  
  
Hikari: Okay, next question, Yui. What's your rape status?  
  
Yui: I was nearly raped!!! ^cries^  
  
Hikari: Pansy. Kagami? What's your answer?  
  
Kagami: I nearly raped my cousin to wake up the pretty blue haired lady.  
  
Hikari: Kagami wins that one, even though I'm sure Yui's pitiful wails created a lot of chaos.  
  
Yui: You better be nice to me, or I'll . . .I'll summon Seiryu before you!  
  
Hikari: Okay, whatever. Next question. Kagami, who are your enemies?  
  
Kagami: That dratted Yuuhi, and Tooya, my own employee! Damn Aya and her charms!  
  
Yui: My best friend Miaka who I blame for all of my mishaps and who really just wants to be my friend again.  
  
Hikari: At least Kagami's enemies actually want to cause him bodily harm. Point goes to Kagami. Yui's next question is, what is your reason for causing chaos?  
  
Yui: I want to get revenge on my friend for abandoning me in that awful place to fend for myself!  
  
Kagami: I just want to make a better world for all the Tennyo, but they can be so uncooperative sometimes! 'That's too dirty' or 'We want to go back to heaven'!! My other project is a self-help institution for suicidal changelings. Most people just don't know about it 'cause they're not trying to level the building ever month. They're much easier to get along with.  
  
Hikari: Okay . . .Kagami wins that one, especially since Miaka would most likely lose a boxing match with Kagami's little friend there. ^looks pointedly at the fruit fly perched on his shoulder, whose name is now Milo^ Last question goes to Kagami. Exactly how psychopathic are you?  
  
Kagami: My mom's in a mental ward, and they say I'll be joining her soon. But how can I protect the wood nymphs from evil gnomes if I'm in a looney bin?  
  
Yui: I'm not psychotic! I just want to go to a good high school without worrying whether or not my history book is going to eat me!  
  
Hikari: Even though Yui's last answer proved the exact opposite of what she said, Kagami gets that point, and wins today's title of Instigator of Chaos! Tune in next time for fifth battle, Wei vs. Tomo for the villain's favorite pet!!! Vote for your fave!!!  
  
Written by Amiboshi chan 


	5. Villain's pet

Battle 5: villain's pet  
  
Hikari: Welcome once again to Anime Smackdown! I'm your host Hikari-Boorei!  
  
Ryo: Ah, Hikari? You can skip the intro by now, I think we know what show this is!  
  
Hikari: NO! NOOOO! It makes me feel special!  
  
Ryo: Okay, whatever. Just . . . introduce the contestants now, would ya?  
  
Hikari: ^Smiles^ Okay! Today's contestants are Tomo and Wei, and they are fighting for the title of Villain's Favorite Pet! Tomo, Wei, come on in!  
  
Tomo: kakakakakakaka!!!  
  
Hikari: Let's get right into it. Wei, your first question is, what is your actual relationship with your villain?  
  
Wei: Well, I work for him. He pays me lots of money.  
  
Tamahome: What? Money?  
  
Ryo: Back, you! ^Beats Tamahome back with a large stick^  
  
Hikari: Okay, and Tomo?  
  
Tomo: Nakago and I are in a relationship.  
  
Hikari: And what kind of relationship is that?  
  
Tomo: I love him and he ignores me.  
  
Hikari: Really? How is that doing?  
  
Tomo: It's worked out quite well so far.  
  
Hikari: Okay, since Tomo actually has a relationship with his villain, he gets the point. Okay, Tomo, your question is, what physical feature puts you aside from all other characters in the story?  
  
Tomo: My face makeup, and my yellow eyes. And I cackle like a homicidal maniac.  
  
Hikari: Okay, I guess that'll work. And Wei?  
  
Wei: The scar over my right eye.  
  
Tomo: Oh, Chichiri has one of those.  
  
Wei: But no one else in Ayashi no Ceres has one.  
  
Hikari: Mikage is covered with scars.  
  
Wei: But they're not over his eye, are they!  
  
Hikari: Okay, whatever. Tomo wins that one even though his makeup isn't really a part of his face . . .  
  
Ryo: It's not???  
  
Hikari: Well, I guess it might be. It was the cackle that was the deciding factor. Anyway, moving on. Wei, your next question is what has one of your co-workers done to you?  
  
Wei: Huh?  
  
Hikari: You know, how has one of your co-workers -most likely gone good guy- inflicted injury on your person?  
  
Wei: Oh, well, Tooya slashed my eye . . . I think he was still working for Kagami at the time.  
  
Hikari: He had just quit, but we'll let that count. Tomo?  
  
Tomo: Suboshi killed me. ^Pouts^  
  
Hikari: Well, I doubt Wei is going to die from his little scar, so Tomo gets that point. Next question. Tomo, what personality quirk do you have?  
  
Tomo: I'm an arrogant, evil, psychopath.  
  
Wei: I hold grudges. Big time.  
  
Hikari: I know. You still are obsessing about killing Tooya because of your little scratch. Wei wins that one. There are plenty of arrogant, evil psychopaths in anime these days. Wei, this is the last question. What weird weapons do you use?  
  
Wei: A funny looking chain and a pokey stick.  
  
Hikari: Yep, that's pretty weird. And Tomo?  
  
Tomo: Feathers and clamshells. Kakakakaka!  
  
Hikari: And Tomo wins that one!  
  
Wei: How do you fight with clam shells?!  
  
Tomo: Step into my shin . . .  
  
Wei: O.O  
  
Hikari: Stop that! ^hits Tomo with a pokey stick until he drops shin^ Hmm, these work pretty well. . . Anyway, Ryo, dispose of that, will you?  
  
Ryo: Okay! ^walks over and steps on shin^  
  
Tomo No . . . not shin . . .  
  
Hikari: These pokey sticks are very useful! I changed my mind, Wei gets that point. But alas, Tomo is still the winner of today's title, Villain's pet. Next time's battle is Aki vs. Suboshi for the title of best twin! Vote for your fave!  
  
Tomo: Shin . . .  
  
Ryo: It's okay, I'm sure there's someone else for you out there.  
  
Hikari: ^still likes the pokey stick^ where can I get me one of these?  
  
Wei: -_-;  
  
Written by Amiboshi-chan 


	6. Best twin

Please, please forgive me for this chapter. Don't shun me, don't put my head out on a stake. It was late and I was experiencing a frustrating case of writer block aka braindeadness while writing this, and I know for a fact this is not my best. I promise the next one will be much better!  
  
Welcome back to Anime Smackdown! I'm your host, Hikari Boorei! Last time on our show, Tomo beat Wei for the title of villian's pet. Today, Aki pairs off with Suboshi for the title of Best twin! Aki, Suboshi, come on in!  
  
Aki: ^Walks in^ Hello.  
  
Hikari: must. . .resist. . . urge. . .to. . .glomp . . .  
  
Aki: -_-;  
  
Voice in background: But Yuisama I don't wanna!!!  
  
Yui: Oh shut up and get out there! ^pushes Suboshi in^  
  
Hikari: Thanks, Yui!  
  
Yui: ^Waves^  
  
Hikari: Let's get on with it, shall we? Our first question goes to Aki. What special abilities do you have?  
  
Aki: I have the innate ability of being possessed by random thousand year old spirits. (ENTER SARCASM HERE) No, really though. I actually don't have any special abilities. I'm just a typical (extremely good looking) teenage boy.  
  
Suboshi: HAHA! I have specialness! I can throw yoyos!  
  
Hikari: ^Drool^ huh? Oh, yea, Suboshi wins that point! Suboshi, your question is, who killed you and why?  
  
Suboshi: I was killed by Tamahome's siblings.  
  
Hikari: And. . .why would they do that?  
  
Suboshi: ^looks away^ Because I killed them.  
  
Hikari: Yep. And Aki?  
  
Aki: I was killed by Ceres because it was the only way Mikage wouldn't kill Aya.  
  
Hikari: Awww, that so sweeeet! Ahem. Anyway, Suboshi- no no. Baaad. Don't kill little kids. Aki wins that point.  
  
Suboshi: But I did it for Amiboshi!  
  
Hikari: killing little kids baaad. Aki, your next question is, who are you in love with?  
  
Aki: Well, I never really had much time for a love life with taking care of Aya and whatnot. . .then when Mikage possessed me and started stalking my sis, I didn't have much of a chance for a love life then either.  
  
Suboshi: I'm in love with Lady Yui!  
  
Hikari: You really like that brat? (No, I luv ya, Yui!) Well, since this IS best twin, the fact that Aya was the reason Aki had no girlfriend gets him the point.  
  
Suboshi: It's not my fault he's boring.  
  
Hikari: WHAT WAS THAT!!?  
  
Suboshi: ah, I was just commenting on what nice weather we've been having!! Eh he. . .  
  
Hikari: I thought so. Moving on. Suboshi, what did you sacrifice for the sake of your twin?  
  
Suboshi: umm-  
  
Hikari: That's what I thought.  
  
Suboshi: Hey! You didn't give me a cha-  
  
Hikari: Aki dear?  
  
Aki: Well, I sacrificed my life for Aya!  
  
Hikari: I always knew you were valiant! Aki gets that point!  
  
Suboshi: That's not fair-  
  
Hikari: Aki, next question. Would you really put your twin over everything?  
  
Aki: Of course I would.  
  
Suboshi: Are you going to let me answer this time?  
  
Hikari ^angelface^ what? Why, of course!  
  
Suboshi: I would too!  
  
Hikari: Oh really?  
  
Suboshi: Yes!  
  
Hikari: Even over Yui?  
  
Suboshi: . . .Yui's another story altogether. . .  
  
Hikari: Ha! Aki gets the point. Suboshi, last question. Do you take care of your twin or does your twin take care of you?  
  
Suboshi: Well. . .um. . .I . . .  
  
Amiboshi (In background) I've babied him all his life! I've spoiled him!  
  
Hikari: mmm hmmm. Rotten. Aki?  
  
Aki: You think Aya could function properly without me?  
  
Hikari: good point. Aki wins the point, and the title of best twin!  
  
Suboshi: Why were you so mean to me!! I thought you liked me!  
  
Hikari: Actually, I do like you. I kinda had to play Devil's Advocate to make this work. What can I say- I really had expected Suboshi to win!! So I was pretty ready to let him win. But I guess people really like Aki! Gomen ne, Subo-chan.  
  
Suboshi: So you don't hate me?  
  
Hikari: Of course not. You're both my darlings. Not so much as Tasuki and Amiboshi, but darlings nonetheless.  
  
Aki: Lady, you're scary. ^runs away^  
  
Next time on Anime Smackdown, Tasuki and Tooya battle for the title Best Weapon! Vote for your fave!  
  
Written by Amiboshi-chan, though I would rather not claim this blasphemy of a chapter. 


	7. Gomen!

I sincerely apologize to all the Suboshi fans out there. I'm a Suboshi fan myself, but I had to torment him in my last chapter. He's such a cool character!  
  
Anyway, I probably won't be able to update for a few days. I'll be out of town, so ya. That'll give ya plenty of time to review, though! 


	8. Best weapon

Yay! After an extended vacation from my computer, ^Twitch. . .need internet!^ Hikari-chan is back with a new chappie!  
  
Battle number 7: Best weapon  
  
Welcome back to Anime smackdown! Last time Aki beat Suboshi for the best twin. This time, Tasuki and Tooya will be comparing their awesomely cool weaponry! I'm your hostess with the mostess, Hikari Boorei!  
  
Hikari: Welcome Tooya, Tasuki ^drool^  
  
Tooya: Hello there.  
  
Tasuki: Ya need a bucket there, Hikari?  
  
Hikari: Wha? Oh, ah, no, of course not! Anyway, let's get into this shall we? First question-  
  
Tasuki: First question, ya got anything ta drink around here?  
  
Hikari: Umm, there's a water fountain out the door to the left. . .  
  
Tasuki: What, ya mean, ya don't have any sake, anything good at all? What kind of establishment are ya runnin' here?  
  
Hikari: Umm, Tasuki, this won't be long, then you can go get some sake. . .  
  
Tasuki: Fine, fine.  
  
Hikari: Okay. First question, Tooya, what's your weapon?  
  
Tooya: My dagger.  
  
Hikari: Oh yea, the oversized dagger knife thingy. Okay, and Tasuki?  
  
Tasuki: My tessen!  
  
Hikari: As much as I love Tooya's weapon, at this first stage I must say the metal fan is pretty cool. Tasuki wins he first point.  
  
Tasuki: Yay! Now I'm gonna go get some sake and-  
  
Hikari: Hold up, Tasuki, we're not done yet.  
  
Tasuki: Oh. ^pouts^  
  
Hikari: Next question, Tasuki, where did you get your weapon?  
  
Tasuki: Oh, my tessen's been passed down through the leaders of the Mount Reikaku bandits!  
  
Hikari: Cool, and Tooya?  
  
Tooya: My dagger's actually a part of me.  
  
Hikari: You were born with it eh? That's pretty cool too. Tooya wins this point. Tooya, your next question. What is special about your weapon?  
  
Tooya: It comes out of my wrist whenever I need it.  
  
Tasuki: Well, my tessen throws fire!  
  
Hikari: This one's a close one. The whole wrist thing must make it pretty easy to travel with it, and you'll never get stopped at the airport for having it. But alas, the pyromaniac within me must say Tasuki wins that point. Your question, Tasuki. Since I've ran out stuff about the weapons, we'll talk about you for a while. What's up with your-ooh la la- love life?  
  
Tasuki: I hate women! I prefer Sake! It's nicer, and won't talk back to ya! Women are fickle, and they don't play fair!  
  
Tooya: I have a thing going with Aya.  
  
Hikari: A thing? Isn't she pregnant with your baby?  
  
Tooya: Yep! ^Happy smiles^  
  
Hikari: That's sweet that you're happy about having a child, especially with the guys we got around today. As funny as the woman-hating bandit is, I must say Tooya wins here.  
  
Tasuki: now can I-  
  
Hikari: No. Just chill, would ya? The world's not gonna run out of alcohol in the next five minutes. You'll get your sake. Tooya, last question. What's special about you?  
  
Tooya: Well, I was born from Ceres' mana, I live only to protect Aya, and I'm a really good fighter.  
  
Hikari: Impressive. And Tasuki?  
  
Tasuki: I'm a Suzaku Seishi, I'm super fast, I like wolves, I'm good looking, I'm the host's favorite seishi, I'm the coolest seishi with the -exception of Nuriko, and that's debatable- there are only a few weirdos who hate the wonderful Tasuki, and I have more fangirls than any character Hikari has been able to find! Oh yea, and I have fangs!  
  
Hikari: What can I say? He speaks the truth! Tasuki wins that point, and the title of Best Weapon!  
  
Tasuki: NOW can I go get some sake!?!  
  
Hikari: Well, okay, but only if you treat me.  
  
Tasuki: Oka- waitaminute, aren't you underage?  
  
Hikari: Ah, um, neehee!  
  
Tasuki: ^sigh^  
  
Hikari: Okay! Bye for now! Next time on Anime Smackdown, Suzumi and Chichiri face off for the title of spiffiest abilities! Vote for your fave!  
  
Written by Amiboshi-chan 


	9. Spiffiest abilities

**Actions are in Bold.**

Yippee! After a dispute with Awsome Anime Television (AATV), we're back on the air with more Anime Smackdown! (No, I wasn't slacking. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!) .;  
  
Battle 8: Spiffiest abilities  
  
**Ahem** Welcome to Anime Smackdown! The one show where you get to see anime characters duke it out to prove they're the best! I'm your hostess with the mostess, Hikari Boorei. Today, we have two very special magic users. Introducing, Suzumi and Chichiri!  
  
Chichiri: Daaaa!  
  
Hikari: Welcome, both of you! Let's get right into our questionings. Suzumi, this first question is for you. What exactly _are_ your abilities?  
  
Suzumi: Well, I canso the same things all the tennyos can, but my special ability is Telekinesis—moving things with my mind.  
  
Hikari: I'm sure that's handy. And Chichiri?  
  
Chichiri: Just about anything no da. I can control things, but I'm especially good with water. I can go Chibi at will, and change my appearance into anything I want. I can use ofudas and charms, and I can use my kasa for transportation no da!  
  
Hikari: That's even more handy. First point goes to Chichiri. Now, where do you get your abilities from?  
  
Chichiri: Well, I'm a Suzaku Seishi no da.  
  
Hikari: And Suzumi?  
  
Suzumi: I get it from my tennyo blood.  
  
Hikari: That's very cool. This point goes to Suzumi.  
  
Chichiri: But I'm protecting a priestess! Isn't that cool?  
  
Hikari: Sorry, Chichiri. Suzumi got that point.  
  
Suzumi: Heh.  
  
Chichiri: Daaaa!  
  
Hikari: Moving on. Suzumi, what do you actually use these abilities for?  
  
Suzumi: I need my abilities to fight the Mikages' men. Sometimes it still takes a little outwitting, though.  
  
Hikari: As long as the job gets done, right? And Chichiri?  
  
Chichiri: my powers are great for fighting the Seiryu seishi. I can disguise myself and go undercover!  
  
Hikari: Well, your powers were pretty useful in protecting Miaka. I'll give that point to Chichiri.  
  
Chichiri: Yay—ow! Itai no da!  
  
Hikari: What's wrong, Chichiri?  
  
Chichiri: **picks up a pen** She threw this at me no da!  
  
Suzumi: It wasn't me.  
  
Chichiri: Of course it was!  
  
Suzumi: Maybe it was someone in the audience.  
  
Chichiri: Daaaa . . .  
  
Hikari: All right, no fighting, you two. Chichiri, next question. Do you use any objects as a medium for your magic?  
  
Chichiri: Well, yes no da. I—ow!—can use my kasa, my staff, and ofudas to—stop that!—focus my powers.  
  
Hikari: **nods **and you, Suzumi?  
  
Suzumi: **shrugs** I don't really need to. Sometimes I can use my fan, though.  
  
Hikari: Unless it's Tasuki's tessen, fans just aren't as cool as hats and sticks. Chichiri gets this point.  
  
Chichiri: Will you make her stop throwing things at me no daa!  
  
Hikari: Suzumi, stop teasing Chichiri.  
  
Suzumi: **folds hands on table** I'm not doing anything. He's just got stage fright, or paranoia or something.  
  
Chichiri: Daaa!  
  
Hikari: Whatever. Next question, Suzumi. What career do you have, and does your magic help you excel in you job?  
  
Suzumi: I'm a dance instructor. My powers don't really help my teach dance, but I suppose I could make things fly around on stage for some pretty cool special effects.  
  
Hikari: I see. That would be interesting, but overall they aren't very helpful. What about you, Chichiri?  
  
Chichiri: When I'm not serving my duty as a seishi, I'm just a wandering monk no da. Of course, my powers are helpful if I come across something I need to fight, and if my feet get tired I can just pop into my kasa!  
  
Hikari: Well, your powers are much more helpful for that. Chichiri gets this point. **Pen whizzes by Hikari's head** Suzumi, stop that now!  
  
Suzumi: I'm not doing anything! See, my hands are right here!  
  
Chichiri: She's using her telekinesis no da!  
  
Hikari: I think we've figured that out, Chichiri. Suzumi, no attacking the hostess or your opponents or you'll be disqualified.  
  
Suzumi: fine, fine.  
  
Hikari: Good. Now, Suzumi, last question. Did you train your abilities to what they are now?  
  
Suzumi: Well, not really. Occasionally by throwing things at my brother Yuuhi, like . . . this. **Sends another object flying towards Chichiri and hits him in the head  
**  
Chichiri: Ow no da!  
  
Hikari: Suzumi!  
  
Suzumi: But I was only demonstrating!  
  
Hikari: **rolls eyes** Kawaii!  
  
Kawaii: Roar! How dare you hit my Chichiri-sama! **Tackles Suzumi to the ground  
**  
Hikari: **sweetly** and you, Chichiri?  
  
Chichiri: eyes Kawaii I trained with Taiitsukun for a number of years.  
  
Hikari: Well, even if Suzumi hadn't been disqualified you would have received that point! Chichiri wins the spiffiest abilities title!  
  
Chichiri: Daa—get it off me!  
  
Kawaii: Chichiri-sama! **glomps**  
  
Chichiri: **in chibi mode** Get it off! Get it off!  
  
Thanks again, folks! Stay tuned for the next episode of Anime Smackdown! Next time, Hotohori and Yuuhi vie for the title of The best love triangle! Vote for your fave!  
  
**.**  
  
Amiboshi-chan: Want to appear in an episode of Anime Smackdown? Let me know when you vote! One person will have a chance to co-host with Hikari Boorei in each episode. Not everyone will get a chance, but the first to ask will get into the next chapter!  
  
Written by Amiboshi-chan


	10. Love triangle

****

Actions are in **Bold.**

SessyRyo: Because you've appeared before, I'll probably move a couple others before you. But I do promise you'll co-host before the show goes "Off-Air!"

Battle 9: Love triangle

ahem Welcome back to Anime Smackdown! The only game show where you get to decide which anime character is best! I'm Hikari Boorei! This week, we will see Hotohori and Yuuhi duke it out for the "Love triangle" award! Now, introducing your guest host, Kaeru Soyokaze!

**Kaeru steps out**

Kaeru Soyokaze: Thank you! Now, let's bring out our contestants! The Emperor Saihitei, better known as Hotohori, and Yuuhi Aogiri!

Yuuhi: Hello! I'm—

Hotohori: **interrupts** Behold with reverence my glorious good looks! I am Hotohori, Emperor of Konan!

Yuuhi: erm...okay....

Kaeru Soyokaze: All right then, let's get this show started! Take your seats, Gentlemen! First of all, who is it that you are in love with?

Hotohori: Miaka, the beautiful priestess of Suzaku!

Hikari: **scoffs** That gluttonous klutz?

Hotohori: **pins Hikari with the glare of death** What was that?

Hikari **sweatdrop** nothing, nothing!

Kaeru Soyokaze: And you, Yuuhi?

Yuuhi: Aya Mikage, who is also the tennyo Ceres.

Kaeru Soyokaze: Well, I think Yuuhi gets that point. Miaka was courageous, but she still needed seven bodyguards just to keep her from getting killed. Aya had common sense, and Ceres could kick butt. First point goes to Yuuhi!

Yuuhi: Woohoo! All right!

Hotohori: **glares**

Kaeru Soyokaze: so now, the other side of this contest—who is your rival in love?

Yuuhi: **flatly** _Toya_. **Glares**

Hotohori: Tamahome of the Suzaku seven.

Kaeru Soyokaze: You must be a real loser is Tamahome was more appealing than you. At least Toya had sex appeal. Point goes to Yuuhi!

Hotohori: I'm an emperor... I could have you beheaded for that...

Hikari: Only in Konan, dear. On the set you're only here to amuse us. **smirk**

Kaeru Soyokaze: No threatening the hosts! Now, on to the next question. What did you have to offer to your beloved?

Hotohori: I could've made her an empress! I could have given her a palace and everything she ever wanted, not to mention the most handsome husband in the kingdom!

Hikari: So now....where was I when you were single??? **Ducks**

Kaeru Soyokaze: And you, Yuuhi?

Yuuhi: So maybe I didn't have much, and I was still living with my sister! Love should outweigh material objects!

Kaeru Soyokaze: **Melts** Oh, Yuuhi! **heart heart**

Hikari: Gee, I dunno....that whole palace thing is pretty appealing!

Kaeru Soyokaze: **puppy eyes **But....but! How can you say no to that! So romantic! Such devotion!

Hikari: **shrugs** You're the guest host here.

Kaeru Soyokaze: Yay! Yuuhi wins! Yuuhi wins! **dances**

Hotohori:** scowls**

Kaeru Soyokaze: **recovers** Okay, next question. Do you ever get over your infatuation with _her_, and who do you end up with?

Hotohori: I go on to marry Houki and I gave Miaka and Tamahome my blessings, but I never _really_ did get over Miaka.

Yuuhi: Well, it did take me a while, but I eventually came to appreciate Chidori's affections, and if she were still alive I'm sure we could have been much more than we were. I've come to see Aya and Toya as friends.

Kaeru Soyokaze: Devotion is romantic and all, but being a shmuck gets annoying. Yuuhi gets the point, and wins the Love Triangle contest! Congratulations, Yuuhi! **glomps**

Yuuhi: Thanks! **sweatdrop** um, not so tight, Kaeru!

Hikari: One round of applause for our host, Kaeru Soyokaze! Thanks for tuning in, and we'll see you again next time for The Cutest: Chiriko vs. Chidori!

Amiboshi-chan: Want to appear in an episode of Anime Smackdown? Let me know when you vote! One person will have a chance to co-host with Hikari Boorei in each episode. Not everyone will get a chance, but the first to ask will get into the next chapter!  
  
Written by Amiboshi-chan


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